PT--MY SPIRITUAL WARFARE ---last-

[These events are in no particular order, as I remember them down.] This is one of most difficult things to write, as to what to omit and what to put in.I'm not totally sure what came from where and why.For most of my life, I believed a lie,["the HOLY SPIRIT "was a spirit, therefore HE is not of this world, but the next.] This didn't stop the events mentioned below from happening.Some are so ["out there"], t.hat they are hard for me to excepted them.I was also told, and believed, that GOD wouldn't do these things, period! and if HE did, not for me! I wasn't worthy.That belief, or disbelief, could have lead to my confusion.I looked upon these events as curses, not blessings.I went so far as to curse GOD because I thought he had cursed me and I didn't know why.THE SPIRITUAL MANIFESTATIONS CAME IN MANY DIFFERENT FORMS.Dreams, visions knowledge of upcoming events, words from my own mouth that don't come from my brain, strange happening, that I can't explain, involving just me and sometimes, other people.I believe, I f there wasn't so many events I would have chalked it all up to co -incidents.After awhile, there was just too much to be dispelled as co-incidents.
THE first little miracle happened at birth.I was born on a Thur. afternoon, Fri. morning the doctor took me to my mother and told her to take me home because I wasn't going to last the weekend.I had a"rare unexplained blood disorder and pneumonia".Monday.my mother called the doctor, for instructions, she was told to keep me home because I wouldn't make it through the winter.
A little more than four years later, the second Sunday. in Jan., the next event occurred.It actually started roughly 6 to 8 weeks earlier, Every time the altar call came, at church I would get butterflies in my stomach, the first couple of times I went up, with little or no results, over the next few weeks the butterflies increased into a complete panic.The Sunday.between Christmas and New Years, I started to duck out to the washroom, as soon as the altar call was given, believing that everyone was praying with their eyes shut and no one would see me.["wrong"]!The weather on that Sunday. night cold windy and snowing heavily. The altar calls came, as usual, and I made mt way to the washroom.I had just sat down and pulled out my hockey cards, to read the stats on the back.when in walked the pastor's wife.My fear turned to panic as I charged past her into the night.I was wearing only a t-shirt, tie, slacks and leather shoes.The last thing I remember was slipping and falling on the slippery road.Three hours later, I found myself walking towards my h home, stopping and looking into the window of a sporting goods store.I was checking out the hockey equipment when I noticed the clock, it was eleven fifteen.The panic overcame me again and I charged home.In those days we didn't have a phone and there was no such thing as a cell phone.We lived in a three-story walk up and our downstairs neighbor had a phone.Dad had come home with my two younger sisters and was manning the phone downstairs.Mom had stayed at the church manning the phone there.I was in such a state, that I could open the door to the apartment ,I sensed someone was behind me, on the stairs ,I turned and throw a punch h before I realized it was a bad.He then took a step back, telling me it was OK.He then left me on the top of the stair sand went to call mom and tell her everything was alright.The panic in me subsided enough for me to open the door and go running toward my bedroom, the door was ajar so I just dropped my shoulder and charged into it .fling it open.the door than bounced back slamming with enough force to recoil coming to rest about the same place it was when I hit it.I then pulled out my toy box and hid behind it.I don't know how long I was there ,but after I started to calm down I got up and got ready for bed.The bedroom door was ajar enough for me to let see into the living room.I sat on the bed thinking about how much trouble I was in. Adding up all my offenses.Yes, i was in for it.I sat waiting for mom to get home,when she did,she put her hand out,as to ask for dad's belt,he said "no,he's is in his room and everything is alright,let it go".I think this confused me as much,if not more than any event of the evening.Mom and dad were always on the same page when it came to us kids,it seemed sometimes they could read each others minds ,what one said the would back to the hilt,even if they weren't together when one spoke.Later my confusion was increased,when i realized i had fallen asleep very shortly after mom had come home.The events of that night have left me with many unanswered question to this very day.
The next part is a series of identical events that took place over a thirty-six year period.They involve the pregnancies of my wives. Roughly three and a half months after our wedding I informed my wife Lynda, that she was pregnant and told her to go for a test.Our doctor was reluctant .but agreed.He was more than a little surprised when the results came back positive, at that time I told him she was going to have a boy.The pregnancy proceeds with no apparent problems, until DEC.24th.I woke up that morning with a feeling a sense of danger, I asked Lynda several times if she was OK.She assured me everything was just fine, so I shrugged it off,t hinking I was overreacting.Late in the afternoon, our downstairs neighbor, a sked us to spend the evening with him and his wife, Lynda said she was tired and wanted to get so rest.I came back a little after midnight and when to bed.She woke me up and told me she was having pains in her back.****I knew then the baby would not survive.I also knew that the feeling had earlier was true.In Oct.1967, I again told her she was pregnant.We had moved when she was pregnant with the first baby, so the doctor wasn't the same doc, whom I told that Lynda with a child.He was more then ready to test Lynda because he knew how much losing our first one had effected Lynda.He thought that he was going ease her apprehension, about being pregnant.This time, I had a good feeling and told him our son will be OK, and he was.Our third child was born without incident, again I told her she was pregnant with a boy.The fourth one was a war from day one, we had moved again and I had to break in a new doc.He fought me from the get go.He told Lynda, that I wasn't a doctor, so could I know.To make matters worse, Lynda answered no to some of the usual questions.A month after she went in again, this time, he agreed to run the test, it came back negative.The following month I went in with her and had a few harsh words with the doc.He agreed to run the test but suggested if I didn't trust him it might be better if we found a new doc.Number three was the charm, but it was too late.Lynda was on three different meds, that all caused major birth defects, by themselves, the little didn't stand a chance.Our fears were realized at the first ultrasound, the little man was so badly deformed you could hardly tell it was a human baby.The doctor was surprised that things had gone on for so long, usually, the women's body rejects the baby and a miscarriage occurs.we all decided that a D and C was in order.I knew as soon as, the doc refused the first time to test Lynda, that the little one was doomed.The fifth pregnancy was with my second wife, this was a major headache from the beginning.
We had tried for eleven with no luck.The year before we had both been tested, my results came back OK., Nadine tests showed the problem was in her.In her doctors words," the fish are just fine, the net is faulty".Nadine was carrying a few extra pounds and she was told that a roll of fat was blocking tubes.the only way she could conceive was to lose weight.She tried but was unsuccessful.In early 2002, We were in Hamilton, with a doc.that had gotten to know me well, Nadine was scheduled for her yearly check-up, the night before I just said, have him give you a pregnancy test.Ed our G.P. said, OK. when the results came back positive, he was very surprised.His boys were the same age as my two older ones.Our four boys played together on a soccer team when they were much younger, We were soccer dads together.Late the same night, that he called us with the news, I felt there was something wrong, I called him the next morning and Nadine had an ultrasound that afternoon.The ultrasound Tech, called our G.P.while we were in the lab, we had an appointment as soon as we could get to his office.We than found out that she was 17 weeks along and "the "roll of fat" was indeed a mass of roughly 8--10 lbs.We left the doc's office and took a detour to Lance's place,to tell him in person.There was a small plaza a block from Lance's house with Zellers and No Frills in it,We stopped and Nadine went in to pick up something for supper,as usual i took a seat on a bench between the two stores.I sat down, bent over with my head in my hands,wondering if i had enough strength,to support her when we lost the baby.I then felt a strange sensation,like someone was staring right through me,i turned my head,without sitting up and saw{ a man? } setting beside me with a strange smile on his face.I sat up,thinking he was trying to pick me up,and told him" my wife was pregnant and"--he stopped at this point and said "remember Abraham and Sarah,GOD wouldn't have given you such a precious gift unless HE was going to help you look after it.The baby will be fine."Our G.P. had told us not to name the baby or buy any baby stuff,but when we got home ,i know that ISAAC had to be in his name,and we sat down and named him JOSHUA ISAAC.Three weeks later the mass had to be removed.J.I.was beaning pushed out ,Nadine was dilated 2 cm. and the sack was
protruding out.The mass removed at twenty weeks,at thirty- five weeks ,when Nadine's B.P.reached 200/ 110 a c-sections was performed.J.I. was born, a strong and healthy baby boy.
The next incident happen underground ,i had suffered an ankle injury and was on short term light duty.I had to go to work and punch-in,after that no one cared what you did,so i took full advantage of this and party big time,going into work drunk every day and sleeping it off in the locker room,One day the shift boss came to me and told me that he needed me down below to guard a blast.I put on my gear and went with the rest of my shift,because every possible entrance to a blast has to be guarded they put me at the furthermost ,most remote travelway they could.[a travelway is a tunnel 4ft by 4ft that is made when they backfill a mine out section].At the end of the travelway there was a ladder going into the blast area.At the top of there ladder there was a door that covered the manway into the blast area.I put the door down,sat on the cover,took off my battery and fell asleep,with the limited space,if anyone wanted to get down the ladder,they would have to wake me up.Some time had pasted ,when i was wakened by a bright light in my eyes,seconds later,when my eyes readjust to the dark,no one was there,but i heard voices in the distance.I quickly got all my safety equipment back on.a few minutes later i saw two lights at that other end of the tunnel.it was the mine superintendent and the safety captain ,doing a surprise inspection of that area.I spent the rest of that day in complete bewilderment trying to figure out what had happened and why.At the end of the shift,in the lunchroom i was sitting next to one of the old -timers and he asked me what was wrong,i didn't answer him because of fear of being laughed at.He then told me of a legend,of a spirit of a young miner who was killer in an underground accident in the mid twenty's and his body could not be recovered,this spirit was supposed to roam the miner looking after young miners and warning them of danger.The penalty for sleeping on guard duty is immediate dismal.I still believed that THE HOLY SPIRIT,was not for today,witch left me more confused.
.I recalled some of the events that occurred in prison in the chapter entitled PRISON ,but not all.I guess the most dangerous one ,went as follows--A young man came to me asking for advice on how to handle someone with his range.i told him just to stay away from him.HE panicked and spread the word around that i had called the other fellow N.G.,that is the worse thing you can call anybody inside.It means he is either an informant or in on a child related charge,both are death sentences.The other fellow was a Jamaican and he went to his bro's and told them my motives were racially motivated,now i have every black i8n the prison gunning for me.Just to add a little spice to the mix,there was a race riot in another prison a few years earlier and most of the main characters had been transferred to other facilities,but over the years had all been transferred to Joyceville where i was.The whites were just looking for a chance to even some old scores.THEY JUMPED ON THIS CHANCE IN A HURRY,some wanted to take me out and blame the BRO'S others wanted to set me up to take blame for starting it.A long with this my parole hearing was going up soon and any incident report would mean,i would be denied and have to wait 6 months for another hearing,if i survived.On the Thur. before my hearing i was walking to the gym,when i was stopped by several white fellows,i denied making the statement,but inside,the truth is determined by combat,the who is afraid to stand up for his word,is considered the liar.i was told he was in the gym and was given an escort of two fellows to make sure i went.I didn't see any way out,so i made up my mind to go out with a bang.I headed for the gym with my friends in tow,we went in and looked around,when spotted the JAMAICAN,and started towards him,the BRO'S spotted me and surround him.i turned to my escort and asked them,why i saw there,and told them if they want me to do the job,they would have to clear out the twenty or so around him.I took two steps and felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders,and had a flash of Atlas holding the world on his shoulders and a hand reach down and lifted it off.I realized i was alone,my escort had vanished.then i felt like i was in a plexy-glass a shield.i looked around and headed for the door to the hall way,and stepped into the hall,that was the last thing i remember for an half hour.Thirty minutes later i was in front of my cell asking for an earlier lock down,i went in sat on my cot,my mind was racing so fast i couldn't control it,finally i leaned back against the wall and looked up and said ,HELP.I went from complete panic to sleep instantly.I awoke one hour later and was let out of my cell,i went in to the common room and could feel in the tension in the air,while i was sleeping,the gang who had control of the inside took over and all the guilty parties were all in P.C.I had the perfect alibi,i was locked in my cell sleeping.MY part in this was never revealed and i made my parole.The night before my release i was approached by the leader of the white group and he asked me two questions,that i didn't know the answer to.who are you--what are you,he went on to say,you came up here walking in slow motion,when i came up behind you,you turned your head and smiled,and just walked away.I was left with more questions,what how and why.What happened in that missing half hour?How did i ,scare off the toughest con in the joint? and why didn't he finish the job he started?And why would GOD protect me ,a con,deep down i know it was GOD,but didn't know why.My parole was a bit rough for me, about six months in,i was breakfast cook at the Sally Ann hostel and half way house and rehab in Hamilton.I was one of the two paid employees,the rest of the workers were from the programs One day one of the fellows,asked me if we could meet at eight that night,when he wouldn't tell me why,i sort of knew he was up to no good,but i wasn't doing so well myself,frustrated and wondering if i really belonged on the street,so i said yes.I knew the bus schedule to a T the driver always stopped for break and a coffee at a coffee shop four stops up the line and he was always three minutes late reaching my stop,so i would get there on the dot and have three minutes to spare,this night he didn't stop and he arrived a minute early, i was just coming up the street in time to see the bus leave.I had to wait,twenty minutes for the next one,arriving twenty minutes late ot our meeting place,i saw the street blocked off by the E,T.F. police unit there so i left.He had pulled an armed robbery at a corner store that we went to all the time ,and we known well by the owner.By this time i'm starting to get the message,GOD IS IN MY CORNER ,regardless of what others may think or say,and in his eyes, I'M not a bad person,because HE made me and GOD doesn't make mistakes.
In 2006, I was living in Toronto, in an apartment facing a courtyard, there were floodlights on three sides of the courtyard lighting it up.The refection of these lights coming through my window lit up my apartment fairly well.Several weeks in a row on Sat. night at 3:33 am, I was awakened by a feeling of fear, and my apartment was completely pitch black.I felt paralyzed.The result of this was, I couldn't get back to sleep for a few hours.Come morning I was either too tired to go to church or slept in.This happened until on sat. night, when I saw a blacker outline of something standing on the foot of my bed, looking down at me.In the SPIRIT, I heard it say,"get out of town, I don't want you here, you have no right to be here".Shortly after this I was able to turn my head toward my apartment door and I saw a tunnel, that seemed to run from the top of the door to the outside.i could see a starlit sky.I then turned my head to the open window and saw the same sky out of it.this was the last time this happened.
I never give into threats or intimidation, if something goes to this much trouble to try and make me move, I will hang around to find out why.The last part of a limerick I once read says,"and the only reason I going to hang around is to see what in the world is going to happen next".I'M still here!
In the early seventy's, my wife and I moved into an apartment, over a business, From the first night I felt something strange, unexplainable.A feeling of evil? maybe.I had no understanding, at that time of THE SPIRITUAL REALM, but I knew, there was something there.A few days later my youngest son, Lance came to me and told me he saw a woman standing at the foot of the bed watching him sleep.every time he woke up turning the night, there she was!I asked him if it scared him and he said " no".Puzzled, but not wanting to alarm him, I told him it was just an angel, watching over him.The following month we were told, that the building had been sold and space was going to be turned into a parking lot for a private club, being built next door.The landlord made us a deal, that if we could move a,s,a.p.he would not charge us any more rent, I jumped at the chance to move and found an apartment and moved within two weeks.during the demolitions, they found two bodies of children, buried in the wall, between the two bedrooms.The investigation revealed that during the flu epidemic of the twenty's there was a family living in the house with two small children, the kids had died of the flu.Still, not totally sure what happened there, all I'M doing is recording the facts of what I can remember. I'M leaving the rest up to the reader!
In 2006 a friend's wife had a cerebral hemorrhage, she was in a coma for several days.A group of us took turns supporting him at the hospital, MY turn was Saturday afternoon.On the way to the hospital, I got a strong feeling, that his wife had died.Arriving at the hospital after a short streetcar ride, Roland took me in to see his wife.She was in the first bed just inside the I.C.U.when I first saw her I know she was indeed dead, the life supports were the only thing keeping her breathing.We both started to pray for her, then without knowing why I chanced my prayers from her to him.A short time later, a member of her medical team came in and explained to us, the what, how and why of her condition.On the way home, my anger against GOD showed up again.I asked HIM, why he keeps cursing me, by revealing to me, the death of someone, but not giving me the power to do something about it.HE answered me, in THE SPIRIT, by asking me four questions--[1]-"Did I cause it?] [2]--Could I have prevented it? [3]-Could I have healed her?".I answered "no" to all three.HIS final question was in a chastising manner,"Why are you taking credit for it then?"It was at that very moment, I finally realized, that all my anger towards GOD, throughout my life, was not at GOD, but at me, I blamed myself for failing in situations, that I had no control over.MY wishes were going against GOD'S WILL.HE NEVER LOSES

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